My friend D told me that our mutual friend Y wondered why I didn't offer her coffee when I was making it during lunch at our office. I told D I used to offer Y my coffee, but she said no several times and went to get her own coffee from other place.
What I carefully omitted was the fact that I have a working progress issue called aversion to rejection. Sure, I may come across as confident and doesn't really care about what other people think about me, but most of the time, I do care.
To say that I have an issue maybe is an understatement. It's a series of events that could be written and published into books. Yes, books.
Rejection is painful, no matter who you are or who did it to you. I know it because I've been there, many times. Being rejected, that is. No matter how strong you are, rejection will leave you doubting your perceptions and your choices. Rejection will make you question your identity, ruin your ego, and lower your self-worth.
I know I sounded silly that I felt hurt when a friend rejected my offer to share a cup of coffee, but it did. By refusing to drink my coffee, she, in my mind, was rejecting me. So I made up my mind, I won't offer her coffee anymore, just to avoid the possibility of being hurt, even when I know she did it unintentionally, of course. Hurting me, not reject the coffee.
The funny thing is, rejection does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone, and anyone can do it, too.
I try not to take rejection personally, but it's hard. I want to be immune to it, but now as I sipping my morning coffee, I realized that hearing (and saying) the word no, even if it's not directed at me, just the things I do or offer, is difficult to accept.
So, the next time you hear someone said no, just brace yourself, take a deep breath, and just move on.