There Is Always Something Wrong With Everyone



Two days ago I was asked to be a reviewer in an examination for graduate students. The examination was conducted to make sure that the students are ready to face their competency examination, to earn the license to practice as psychologists. 

My job was to ask the students series of question about their internships and their cases. The first student clearly lack of preparation and failed the examination. My colleague and I were disappointed, because this student could pass, if she would only try studying harder.

The second student was brilliant, contrary to everyone concern that she was the one we predicted to fail due to her lack of capacity compared to her classmates. She answered every question confidently, and she had the most beautiful understanding and empathy for her clients. She could talk about any client of hers, and we could imagine the client standing right in front of our eyes.

First of all, I want to confess that I have written self-help books. Yes, I know, shocking, right? Well, please understand that my books are not the same with “How to be Happy in Ten Days” crap and the rest of motivational self-help books ruling the world of publication. My teeny tiny books were about how to mend a broken heart, how to prepare for job interviews, and how to study effectively. Not really motivational, but they were self-help. I wrote about the behaviors you should show, when you want to achieve something: a healed heart, getting the jobs you want, and good grades without losing your mind.

Maybe I should just write self-help books about how to not judge people. You see, I believe humans are most of the time, good. I don’t think there are bad people or good people. There are only bad manners and meaningless behaviors. My student who failed, could turned out to be the most accomplished psychologist when I stayed behind, teaching, just like 15 years ago. My student who passed the examination with flying colors, could turned rouge and would do crime later on.

Humans need some kind of order and rules.  I need some certainty, some kind of consistency about the people and the things I face every day. If there was a book on how to handle a lousy friend who left you hanging on to the empty words, I’d buy it. If there was a book on how to believe other people more faithfully, I’d be the first in the long line of queuing. If there was a manual on how to mend broken relationship, I’d sleep eat breathe the book. I’d even distill the book and drink the essence.

And no, I don’t believe there is nothing wrong with humans. We have evolved to be the civilized humans that we are now, through complex and long and tedious processes. As humans, we are have our flaws, quirks, and dark corners inside our minds. The problem is, can and will we embrace them as parts of what make us humans?

Picture was borrowed from here.


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